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Secret Agent

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Secret AgentIt’s a good idea to have a housekeeper if you live in High Rise Society.  Most tribesmen do. I don’t  I wash my own laundry, throw out the trash, even dust on rare occasion, a pursuit that gives me a sense of satisfaction as I see the haze on my furniture disappear like magic with a swipe of a cloth, and almost makes me appreciate why someone would take up cleaning as a vocation.

It’s not that I have anything against my fellow tribesmen for outsourcing these tasks.  It’s just that I don’t like the idea of someone poking through my stuff when I’m not there, which probably says more about me than anyone else.

But the truth is, having a housekeeper is almost a necessity — not for the reason you think Sure coming home to a toilet bowl so spanking clean you (or your cat) can drink from it is nice.  But it’s the intelligence that comes with it that really counts. Better than that you can get by spying yourself because cleaning ladies get to observe and engage their targets in the sanctity of home. Apart from doormen, there’s no better source of information than the women who clean. (There are no men. I’m not being sexist.)

iStock_000006428000XSmall“Did you know Mr. X wears a thong?” my friend practically collapsed in laughter as she shared the juicy tidbit that had been imparted by her cleaning lady, who was also his cleaning lady, which was how she knew because that’s all he wore while she was dusting (talk about hostile work place environment). There are plenty more secrets, but I don’t think it’s wise to spill them here.

If you don’t already have a cleaning lady, maybe you should get one. I admit I’m thinking of doing the same — not to clean — I can do that.  To act as secret agent. If you’re smart, you won’t sit back and wait for random bits of information to come your way, but actively target the stuff you want to know. All you have to do is plant a few questions in your housekeeper’s consciousness, and ask for the answers next time she comes to mop. Of course what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. For all you know, she could be a double agent working for other tribesmen who want intelligence on you.  Mum’s the word.

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