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Happy New Year

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happy-new-year-fireworksWhat’s a new year without a few resolutions?  Forget about making another promise to lose ten pounds or find inner peace.  Those impose too much pressure and they’re impossible to keep.  No, if you want immediate results that impact not only you but also your fellow tribesmen, here are a few resolutions worth considering:





  • Play touch football in the lobby with my black Lab.
  • Throw bowling balls down the compactor chute.
  • Foment civil war among my neighbors.
  • Become a victim of Confrontitis. (See: Deliver De Letter, 12/5/09.)
  • Be a Perkomaniac. (See: The Perkomaniac, 12/23/09.)
  • Be BAD. (See: How Bad Do You Have To Be? 12/4/09.)
  • Spread rumors about fellow tribesmen without verifying their accuracy from intelligence-gathering sources more reliable than those that led us to war over non-existent WMD’S.



  • HappyNewYearBe a good neighbor. (See: The Good Neighbor, 12/7/09.)
  • Keep my stuff to myself. (See: Stuff Outside The Door, 12/17/09.)
  • Vote in the next building-wide election, even if I haven’t gone to the real polls in years.
  • Find enough conversation to fill the dead air in the elevator ride to and from the lobby.
  • Wake up to the realization that my apartment is probably my biggest asset (even if its value shrunk last year) and pay attention to what’s going on.


A peaceful and prosperous new year to all!

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